I am keeping a family secret. What do I do?
I listened to your episode about uncovering a family secret and it got me thinking even more about a family secret that I'm holding onto. My sister got pregnant years ago after basically having a one night stand. She started dating someone not long after and they decided to just pretend like the baby was his. My niece is now 10. She has no idea that the man she calls dad isn't her dad. I am sure she'll find out someday one way or another. And I can't help but worry that she will be mad at me for not telling her. I hate to keep the secret. I've asked myself what a mentally strong person would do and I don't know the answer. Please advise.
How do I help my friend who has depression when I'm emotionally drained?
My good friend has been depressed off and on since I've known her. I'm her main support person. This latest round of depression has lasted a long time and it's happened during a time when I'm busy with things going on in my life. I want to keep helping her but at the same time, I feel emotionally drained. I know I should be taking care of myself and saying no sometimes but when I try, I feel guilty, and think I should be able to do one more thing for her. How do I know when it's OK to say no?
I feel like a bad daughter but I need to protect my mental health.
My brother has a mental illness and refuses treatment. His life is falling apart in every way possible and he contacts our mom every day to tell her he doesn't have any money and he is about to be homeless and he lost his job. My mom spends all day every day trying to line up help for him or services so he doesn't wind up on the street. But he refuses help. So then my mom calls me repeatedly throughout the day to give me the latest update on the bizarre messages from my brother (sometimes they're incoherent) and the latest challenge she has encountered when trying to get him help. I had to tell my mom I can't listen to it anymore. I feel like a bad daughter as my mom needs support. But at the same time, I don't want my brother's refusal to get help for his mental health to wreak my mental health or interfere with my family. My mom implies I'm selfish for not helping more and part of me agrees. What I should do?