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I keep telling myself not to say something racist and then I can't concentrate. What can I do?

I feel like I am pretty lucky and normal, except I have one issue that has been swirling in my head for 20 years and I can't shake it, but I'm thinking it might be a Catastrophic thought. Not sure if you have heard of this one before, but my struggle is when speaking in groups or presenting is sorta ridiculous and embarrassing. I worked as an admissions counselor at a college after I graduated and did a lot of medium sized presentations, and I felt like I was pretty good at it, but started getting bored with them. So I then started telling myself not to say something racist out loud while presenting, stupid I know, but here I am today still dealing with it and its caused me to get distracted in my subsequent different jobs. I reached out to a counselor and she gave me a couple suggestions, but was just curious if you’ve heard of others having this issue?

Do I have to talk about my childhood with my sister?

My sister is a couple of years older than me so we remember our childhoods very differently. She understood what was going on and is traumatized by it. I had no idea what was happening so I thought it was a great childhood. When we moved a lot, I thought it was an adventure. She was old enough to realize it was because we were evicted. I thought we were camping at my grandparents living room. She knew we were basically homeless and trying to get away from mom's abusive boyfriend. I'm not scarred from childhood but she is. She always wants to talk about it though and tells me stories that I don't want to hear. She insists I need to know the truth but I don't think I do. Do I have to talk about my childhood with my sister?

I have many goals and not enough motivation. What do I do?

I want to read more books, lose weight, become a better cook, spend more time with family, etc. I convince myself I'll start doing those things one day and the next day I convince myself I don't have time. What do you do when you have too many goals, not enough time, and decreasing motivation?

How can I become more vulnerable?

What are ways that I can practice being more vulnerable with my partner and my adult children? It makes me feel needy and I really don’t know where to start

Married to a narcissist

I’ve been with my husband 21 yrs (almost 20 yrs married). I came into the marriage with my son (almost 4 yrs old at the time). Then my husband & I had 3 children. I never liked the way my husband patented- very negative & demanding. Years later (just recently) I realized he’s a narcissist!! I thought he was just OCD & maybe bipolar. My son has cut all ties to my husband because of the emotional & verbal abuse that he suffered while he was young & through his teen years. I have A LOT of “Jewish Mom guilt”. Now that my 3 kids are teens, they see it clearly too & have said (to me only) that they don’t like their dad & that he’s not supportive at all. This is all true but after I threatened to leave with the kids & dog 4 yrs ago, things got better for a bit. It’s emotionally draining on me to constantly be in the middle. My parents have nothing to do with my husband either due to his way of raising their grandkids. I’m also in the middle between my husband & his parents, who I’m extremely close with. I have been practicing more self care by meditating & learning about chakra healing, not only for me but for my kids. My husband has no friends & looks to me for his only companionship, but I enjoy going out to group meditation sessions & having coffee with my few close friends. Our relations as husband & wife is more like best friends with NO romance at all, which he’s fine with but I’m not!! Whew- & that’s the just tip of the ice berg!! The actual question is how to handle being married to a narcissist with teen age & adult children who are quickly pulling away from him? Thank you, Amy. Your podcast has been a great comfort to me for several years. I have all of your books too!! ❤️🙏😊