Extoverted me makes plans. Introverted me regrets it later. Why do I do this?
I think I like the idea of going and being social so I schedule things to do. But when the time comes to do those things, I almost always regret it. I don't want to cancel at the last minute so I push myself out the door but every single time I say I'm not going to do that again. I keep doing it though. I usually have an ok time when I go out but it takes a lot of effort. It's like I want to be an extrovert and I can't accept that I'm an introvert. Why do I do this and how do I stop?
Why do I ignore obvious red flags in relationships?
There are always tons of red flags in my relationships. When I start dating someone, I see that something is a potential red flag but I brush it off and tell myself it's not a big deal. Then I end up in bad relationships. All my friends and family are always telling me to be on the lookout for red flags. They know me well. But like the last relationship I was in, the guy didn't want me to post any pictures of us together on social media. I knew that sounded suspicious but he kept telling me it was because he had a crazy ex and he didn't want her to know about me. It was really because he was still dating other people behind my back. How do I get better at taking action when I see those red flags?
An affair cured my depression. But no one knows the real reason why I got better.
I’ve been married for almost 20 years and my marriage has always been pretty good. But I struggled with depression for a long time. I never had any energy and I didn’t feel like doing anything. I never really stuck to taking antidepressants long enough to see if they could help. During the pandemic, I became close to a coworker because we had a lot of Zoom meetings–just the two of us and he got to see my house and I got to know about his private life too. And for the first time in a long time, I started to feel happier. When the lockdown restrictions ended, our relationship became physical–only a few times. He says he’s happily married as well and neither of us have any plans to leave our spouses. We occasionally find an excuse to set up online meetings with one another and we flirt a little. Once a month or so we end up in the office on the same day. I can’t guarantee we’ll never meet up again. But I’m confused about how this friendship turned affair seems to have cured my depression. My husband and my friends have all noticed how much better I’m doing. I have more energy, I take more pride in my appearance, and I feel like going out and doing fun things again. Of course, no one knows the reason why. I never thought I’d be someone who would cheat so it doesn’t make sense to me why I did it. And it doesn’t make sense why it made me feel better, instead of feeling guilty. Why do I feel better and what do I do now?
How do I deal with frustration about the fact that my parents cater to my sister who has bipolar?
My adult sister has bipolar disorder. She goes off her medication and makes bad decisions sometimes and then my parents always rescue her. When she's manic she goes on spending sprees or doesn't go to work and then needs money and my parents always give it to her. They once drove across the country to pick her up because she got herself in a dangerous situation-she literally ran away with a truck driver she randomly met at a truck stop. I work hard and struggle to get by and it frustrates me that that they throw money at her. I think she uses her diagnosis as an excuse sometimes. But then I feel bad for feeling somewhat jealous as I'm an adult and I think it's immature to be jealous that she gets everything. Sometimes though I think I should talk to my parents and discourage them from bailing her out because they aren't helping but I don't want to do that just because I'm jealous she gets more than I do. How can I deal with my situation?