Why do I ignore obvious red flags in relationships?
There are always tons of red flags in my relationships. When I start dating someone, I see that something is a potential red flag but I brush it off and tell myself it's not a big deal. Then I end up in bad relationships. All my friends and family are always telling me to be on the lookout for red flags. They know me well. But like the last relationship I was in, the guy didn't want me to post any pictures of us together on social media. I knew that sounded suspicious but he kept telling me it was because he had a crazy ex and he didn't want her to know about me. It was really because he was still dating other people behind my back. How do I get better at taking action when I see those red flags?
My wife wants to visit her family for Christmas but I don't want to leave my dad alone. What should I do?
I feel like I'm in an impossible situation. My wife says she feels like we need to take the kids to her parents house for Christmas and spend two nights there. It's about a 5 hour drive. Normally I'd be fine doing this but I'm concerned about leaving my dad home alone on Christmas. My sister is visiting her in-laws in another state so she won't be able to visit him and we don't really have any other family members he could spend the day with. He's 71 and it breaks my heart to imagine him sitting at home eating a TV dinner by himself on Christmas. Do I put my foot down and tell my wife we need to visit my Dad this year?
An affair cured my depression. But no one knows the real reason why I got better.
I’ve been married for almost 20 years and my marriage has always been pretty good. But I struggled with depression for a long time. I never had any energy and I didn’t feel like doing anything. I never really stuck to taking antidepressants long enough to see if they could help. During the pandemic, I became close to a coworker because we had a lot of Zoom meetings–just the two of us and he got to see my house and I got to know about his private life too. And for the first time in a long time, I started to feel happier. When the lockdown restrictions ended, our relationship became physical–only a few times. He says he’s happily married as well and neither of us have any plans to leave our spouses. We occasionally find an excuse to set up online meetings with one another and we flirt a little. Once a month or so we end up in the office on the same day. I can’t guarantee we’ll never meet up again. But I’m confused about how this friendship turned affair seems to have cured my depression. My husband and my friends have all noticed how much better I’m doing. I have more energy, I take more pride in my appearance, and I feel like going out and doing fun things again. Of course, no one knows the reason why. I never thought I’d be someone who would cheat so it doesn’t make sense to me why I did it. And it doesn’t make sense why it made me feel better, instead of feeling guilty. Why do I feel better and what do I do now?
Watching Porn
For a little over a year I received CBT from a skilled clinical social worker about my built up shame in my struggle with porn Interestingly the more detached I became with the struggle with porn, the less the urge has power over me. I still struggle with it but a whole lot less. I feel that I am on a journey of recovery. Is that a sign of mental strength!