How do I deal with a co-worker who brags about himself when he feels inferior?
I need your help to navigate through this tricky situation. Recently I have been offered to conduct a workshop for which this colleague will accompany me. I am really excited about this opportunity and want to put my best foot forward. My colleague is hard working and does his work sincerely. The only problem is that given his difficult and disturbed childhood experiences with an alcoholic father .. he has grown up to be a cynic. He has trust issues and he thinks that that world is always operating against him. He is always on guard. I stopped working with him in the past because I was not equipped to handle his negativity. I have been analysing the past experiences of working with him and I have recognised that he starts acting weird only when he feels that he is under an attack .. for example, he feels that he is being judged for his intelligence or his financial status. When he gets on that road he starts getting annoying to others by constantly taking about his ‘ strengths’ and making others uneasy by telling them how they are not hard working enough. Having recognised this pattern in his behaviour I have found an effective way to deal with it. Now, I put across my points keeping his insecurities in mind and I have noticed that he receives every thing well when he feels safe. ( Thanks to your workbook.)I have been keeping a track of my own triggers too. I go for the meetings fully prepared and things have been pretty smooth so far. But there is one glitch which has surfaced recently -- themain requirement of this job is to engage with people. During the workshop he'll be engaging with strangers. Now I am not sure how he'll handle the situation if he assumes that someone is ‘attacking’ him. How do I deal with this as I can’t afford to mess this job up . What should be my IF and THEN plan in such situation. And most importantly, is there any way I can help him realise his problem to him without sounding like I am trying to ‘FIX’ him?
Am I'm not sure I forgive my mother. What does that say about my mental strength?
When I was growing up, my mom dated and married several abusive alcoholic men. They were abusive to me and my siblings in many ways. I have an okay relationship with my mom most of the time now that I'm an adult. I have moments where I think she likely didn't know any better and that's why she allowed those things to happen. She grew up in a horrible environment and probably did the best she could raising us. Then I have other moments where I'm mad at her and think she could have stopped the abuse at any time but didn't and I don't forgive her. Sometimes I think I'm just fooling myself into thinking I forgive her so I can mov on. At other times, I think forgiving her would mean I am letting her off the hook. What's the relationship between mental strength and forgiveness? And what does it say if I don't really forgive my mom?
When does staying home mean I'm setting a healthy boundary and when does it mean I'm being selfish?
I am not into parties and celebrations but I have friends who love any excuse to throw a party. I recently declined to attend a friend's gender reveal party because I find such things exhausting sometimes. But another friend told me I was selfish. I thought I was setting a healthy boundary. How do you know when to draw the line and say no to something as a way to take care of yourself and when do you push yourself to do something you don't want to do because you're being a good friend?
What rules can I set for my teenage daughter who is having sex?
My almost 17-year-old daughter is sexually active. I would prefer that she wasn't but I realize I can't prevent her from doing it. I would like to set some rules, like not allowing her to do it in our home. I'm from a generation where I was taught pre-marital sex was wasn't an option. I want to teach my daughter to be respectful of our rules and of her body but this seems tough. What are reasonable rules we can set?
I can't drag myself out of bed in the morning. Any tips?
I hit the snooze button like 10 times every single morning. At the last possible second, I have to jump up and run out the door to work and I look awful and feel terrible. Sometimes I'm late. I feel like the bad start to they day ruins the whole day. I have self-discipline in other areas of my life but it's hard to feel like a strong person when I can't even drag myself out of bed on time. Do you have any tips for how I can get myself more motivated in the morning?